Memories of Mom - Chapter 4

(From my bother, Steve, about his wife, Regina, to his children)

 

This story relates to the first time I went to visit Aunt Mary and Uncle Bob on the Hill.  Mary and Bob lived in a house on Marconi Street; it was the same house your grandpa grew up in on the Hill. Your mom was invited to visit and stay for supper. Now, this is a custom that many people on the Hill followed for years and may still do. It is about living out of the basement during the summer. Some families liked living out of the basement so much, they usually did their cooking in the basement all year. The homes on the Hill are built so that today, you may call it a split-level home. Yes, it was a basement but during the day a lot of people lived in the basement and just slept upstairs, took baths or had formal guest there etc.

 

Bob was not very well and had not been out of the house for many years. He was a bartender and now,  he was not supposed to drink alcohol. We sat around the kitchen table in the basement and just talked about the family and traditions of the Hill etc. Mary was making an Italian dish called Planttakanelea. It was rabbit and cornmeal with red wine. As it was being cooked, Bob would add some wine when Mary was not around. He would put up his fingers by his mouth and just say it helps the gravy.  

 

On another visit to Aunt Mary’s house (I really felt embarrassed). I was taken back when Aunt Mary looked at me and shouted “ Hey you lika the food Steve”? She was a wonderful cook and a great baker. She worked on the Hill right across the street from Ragazzies for many years. I really like the Hill and Mom and me felt that if and when we ever moved to St. Louis, we would try and find a place on the Hill to live.  

 

Every year on the Hill there was an event called Hill Day. (I do not know if it still goes on or not. ) The first year they held the event, your mom and me went to see the event. We met your grandma and grandpa and went over to Aunt Mary’s house. When we started to walk to Berra Park, John walked to the front of the house and sat down. I asked him if he was going and he said no,  it was his turn to watch the front of the houses on the block. I asked him what he meant and he said on days like this when a lot of people come to the hill, one neighbor watches the front of the homes on each block and another one watches the back of the houses. I think this was long before the neighborhood watch began.

 

Hill Day was started by St. Ambrose Church to help raise money to keep up the neighborhood. If you wanted to buy a home or sell a home on the Hill, you went to the church for help. St. Ambrose was then and still is a very vital part of the whole community. This is the parish  for which Renee taught school. I know that Mom really loved the fact that Renee taught school here and the Bottini family was very proud also. When I came to see Renee a few times during school, the children would all rise and welcome me to the classroom. I remember one time coming to bring some punkins to her classroom.  I think I also brought some flowers to her class a time or two.

 

Before we got married,I  picked out an apartment for us to live in, not too far from where I lived when we first met. It was on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex in Richmond Heights, Missouri. The price was ok and it was big enough for us and there was a laundromat in the complex. I thought it was great until Reggie’s grandma came over to visit. She came and walked up the 3 flights of steps in silence; however, she was moving her lips. When she got to the top she announced with a loud commanding voice, “47, 47, 47 steps to climb up for my granddaughter, no way, no way can she do this”.  I felt that she was right at that point because I never thought about Regina being pregnant. I went down to the manager to see if I could move our apartment to the ground floor but was told I had a year’s lease on the place we were and that was that.

 

Now at this time, I got to witness the power a grandma has in life.  She just said “NO. NO, NO, THAT WILL NOT DO”.  She marched down and did her thing with the apartment manager and when she was done, we were able to move to the ground floor apartment right next to the laundry, the next month. We did not have to pay an extra fee or anything. That is called STELLA POWER; Jane’s mom was Stella Byrnes.

 

 

The wedding was held at Regina’s parish, St. Raphael. Jane and Joe, over the years, were very active in the parish,  as well as Jane’s mom and dad. We did not have the money to have a photographer take pictures for the wedding so we did not have a nice book to look at, over the years. The pictures were almost all slides and some black and white pictures, taken by a student I hired. We borrowed the car of Regina’s Uncle Frank. He had a real nice car and it saved us some money for the ceremony.

My brother Mike was my best man and Cathy, Regina’s cousin, was our bridesmaid. We did not have a big wedding and I just wore my best suit.  We needed to save our money for moving and saving up for the baby. We did have a nice reception at a local restaurant. Our aunts and uncles, parents, brothers and sisters were invited to the reception. We did not have a band, room for our friends and dancing. We had a nice dinner and met at Reggie’s mom and dad’s home after the dinner.

 

I did not spend too much time at this party because Reggie felt I would get drunk like my dad did at his wedding. I do not understand why she felt that way, but I think my mom urged Regina to get me out of the party. My dad did get so drunk that four of his friends had to carry him up the stairs to their flat and put him in bed. My mom tried to wake him up but he slept and slept.

My mom related a story many times that she yelled to my dad, she was going to jump out the 2nd story window on their wedding night. She threatened this over and over until she picked up a large piece of coal (used to fire up a stove in the flat) and threw it out a window and broke the glass. Apparently, my dad did not move or even hear the crash however he did get cold during the night because it was snowing outside and the window was gone.

 

We left the party and we went to a motel in South County and started our married life. When we got to the motel, the guy in the office told us the hot water was out and we could not take a hot shower but he said it should be working by morning. He went on to say that we could have the room at half price. Well, that sat well with me but not your mom. No, she would not stand for that - she spoke up and said we will take two rooms. I looked at her and thought what in the hell for. Well, you can guess what we did! We got two rooms. Mom said I should not be so dammmmm cheap. We never used the other room unless you count Regina going in the other room just to call me and say hello.

 

We left the motel and headed to the apartment after we had a nice breakfast. We were only in the car about 5 minutes or so when your mom had morning sickness in the front seat of the car we were driving. She just upchucked it all over and the smell was just the worst I have ever dealt with. I looked up and it must have been a gift from God, I saw a drive thru car wash on the right side of the street. I pulled into the line and we both got out and I talked to the guy in charge.  He told me he would take care of I t all for an extra five dollars. They worked and cleaned up the mess and put some smelly stuff all over the disaster site. The car smelled like a rose bush in the ass of a hog. I forgot to mention I barrowed brother Mike’s car for the night because it was a better car then the one I had. Mike told me that the smell never came out of the car, never.

 

We settled down to a life together in the apartment and I can remember a few funny things that happen the first month or so. The walls in the apartment were so thin you could hear things going on in the other apartments. One night the guy above us had gas and we could hear him fart in the still of the night and then hear him laugh about it. Once when Regina was getting in the bath she put her foot in the water and just shouted out “OH ITS COLD”!

A guy in another apartment shouted out “TURN ON THE HOT WATER”.

 

Your mom worked for the federal government for a while after we got married as an office manager in a labor department division. She was the only person doing the paper work and typing but she had several men in the department. When she missed a lot of time, being sick and tired because of the pregnancy, she quit her job and started to sell Avon in the neighborhood. Your mom never liked to feel she was not bringing in money. She like being home but I know she was just such a intelligent person and had so much to offer, she felt the need to be more that just a housewife.

 

We were only married six weeks or so, when my dad went back in the hospital. He was back at work after having the heart attack but was now having some pain in his chest. He was in the hospital when his birthday came around and the whole family went to see him and we had a nice party.  I left the party that day and never saw him alive again.

 

After the party, your mom and I went to see Bob and Carole, who lived in North County. We were going out to see a drive-in movie. We stopped to get some supplies for the show and an ice chest to put them in. This is the first date of our first disagreement after being married. I sent your mom into Katz store to get a foam ice chest for 99 cents. She came out and spent three dollars on an ice chest that I told her was such a waste of money. I remember it had a bottom and a white top. I told her that this damm thing cost two dollars more then the foam one and was not worth a damm. I insisted that the @#%+$%#@& thing would not last a @#%$*&^%^$# bit of time. She got right back in my face and stated that*&*^ it would. Well, guess who was right. You see it lasted so long that I forgot it in the trunk of a car the day we drove Steve Jr. to Southwest Missouri University to check out his school. Now, that is only about 20 years, not very long right! Man she was right about a lot of things.

 

The day after we went to the drive-in, we slept late and for got the clocks were to be set ahead of time because of daylight savings time. We were late going to church and we were getting dressed real fast trying to make it to church to meet up with Regina’s mom and dad when we got the call.  My dad was dead.

I am so glad we had a great party with dad the day before. I went in to see my dad at the hospital and he was put back in bed for the family to come and visit before he was taken away. I remember the cold feeling of kissing my dad on the check. It was a cold feeling and I will never forget.

 

Here is an event that happen when we were preparing for my dad’s funeral. We met with the director and we had to pick out my dad’s casket. I think it was my mom, Pat, Mike, Mark and myself. My mom picked out a nice casket and she felt it was the right price and the right look. It was at this time the guy, who I grew up with said something I will never forget. He stated that “Well, let’s see your dad was a rather big man and I just think that he would be uncomfortable in this casket”.  I asked my mom and my family to please leave the room and I would take care of this part of the discussion. After they left the room and were out of hearing my voice, I looked at my friend and wanted to take his head off his shoulders. I told him “Look, my dad is dead, he has no feelings, JUST STUFF HIM IN IT”.  I went on to make sure he did not mess with my mom anymore for the service.

 

We also moved closer to Regina’s mom and dad and into the south part of the city. We moved into a four family flat just to the south of Our Lady Of Sorrows Parish church. It was a great place to live and we would have plenty of room there. We just had to get used to the bells of the church right across the street for our bedroom.

 

I left my job working as a college policeman because it was night work and it did not pay enough money. I took a job as a salesman for Comfort Printing Company. I worked the division that did printing for automobile dealerships, repair shops and service stations. Just before I started working for the company, GM bought their own printing company and forced its dealerships to deal with them. Comfort used to provide all the work sheets for repairing and selling the cars in the industry. They also provided the pens, key chains, flags, office supplies, etc. for the industry. This was all going to the company now owned by GM. I saw the handwriting on the wall so I started looking for another job.

 

I did not have the ambition to hit the streets as hard as I did when I first started. I came home early one day just after I started work. I guess it was about 9:30 in the morning and your mom was still in bed. She was talking to her grandma on the phone. I waited for her to get off the phone and I decided to surprise her.  I took off all my clothes and walked into the room. Your mom was just waking up and she was not yet fully aware of life around her. SHE DID NOT HAVE HER FIRST CUP OF COFFEE.

 

She was walking out of the room when I walked into the room.  She was looking down at the floor and she first saw bare feet.  She raised her head to find bare legs.  When she got to my mid section she, not knowing it was me started to scream, very, very loud. She yelled “help” and then I then grabbed her and held her to my chest trying to comfort her. She was beating on my chest when a neighbor lady from the apartment next door came busting in to help her. She knew I was at work and Regina was all-alone, or so she felt. Well, it made for a very interesting morning. I was back on the street pushing my goods in just a few minutes, no fun that day. I went to work for Colonial Bread Company not long after I quit working for Comfort Printing Company.

 

(I  know you heard of this story, but it is such a great one I love to tell it again and again.) I came home from work one day and was greeted by my wife and was told we were going to have Spaghetti and meatballs. Man she could really make a good meal of pasta, so I as really happy. The next night it was the same because she made too much the night before. I was happy because she does make the best. On the 3rd day we had spaghetti and meatballs again and she just stated she did not want to throw it away. Well, I could not argue with that.Then, the 4th day was getting a little much but well what can I say she already had it made. Now on the 5th day is was Friday and I knew we would have fish because we could not eat meat on Fridays back then.

 

Well we were going to just have spaghetti that Friday night. Well enough is just enough; I just had it up to here and stood my ground. Well, I said, “Honey, I love your spaghetti and meat balls but you know not day after day”.  Well here is comes!  SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, “YES SEX IS GOOD TOO AND I LIKE IT BUT NOT DAY AFTER DAY AND AFTER DAY”! She did not know how to tell me this so she got this advice from her doctor to tell me that being pregnant made sex not really comfortable now. She just felt she did not want to come out and say it without a  bit of help. Now, that is a story that just sticks with you.  We switched doctors but not because of that story.

 

Regina had about 3 false calls for the baby. Each time we felt she was gong to have the baby but it never happened. I even took off work for 2 of the times. Thanksgiving came and we were over at Oscar and Julie’s house. Regina ate a lot and she was just full and tired when we got home that night. I had to go to work early the next morning, your mom felt again that this was the day. Right, I said she was just full of gas. I took her over to her mom and dad’s house and went to work. I got into my bread truck and took off to run my route. When I got to my first stop, the owner of the store ran out and told me to go back to the bakery because my wife was having a baby.  

 

I made it to the hospital in plenty of time. In fact, Angela was not born until the evening on that day. Our own doctor was not with Regina most of the time we were at the hospital that day. Regina had an Asian doctor who did all the poking and prodding. Now, Regina was not that different than most woman in this pain. She was a real bitch, and very angry.  She cussed me out a few times and said things like “YO DID THIS TO ME YOU BIG #^#^&$&$&%(*^)(^*$^&$&*%*(^o^(*$%%$, AND SO ON. The Asian doctor was very nice but your mom called her a chink, a slant eyed *&%&$^$%^(&*^, and many other things. She also called her own doctor a few choice words when he got there.  

 

I was in the room when Angela was born and tried to help out and be a part of the delivery. Angie came out with help of a clamp, they had to put on her head so she had a mark on her head. She came out crying and making noise and she had never stopped talking ever since, just like Margaret. I ran to the phone and announced to everybody that Angie was six foot two and 32 pounds. Yes, it should have been 6 pounds and 2 ounces and 32 inches long. I was close.

 

A little over a month after Angela came into the world she got real sick one night. It was Christmas Eve and we went to the emergency room. We waited and waited to see the doctor on duty. After a long wait, guess who was on duty, yes, the Asian doctor who was with your mom in the room before she had the baby. The first thing she said to us both was ‘ DON’T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE”.  “NO. NO , NO “ Regina shouts out “I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE”. Yea right! She did remember mom and when we left, she told us we had to get the medicine filled right away. I told the doctor that is was Christmas Eve and no place was open at 10 at night. She informed me that there was a place open 24 hours and day all year long. It was in the worst place in town you could find. So, at midnight, I was in waiting for medication in a real great place thanks to your mom.

 

Before I met your mother, she was a person who had a lot of friends and went to a great school. She started out at Du Boug High School and then transferred to St. Elizabeth’s High School. She was the editor of her school newspaper and she got very good grades. She worked a lot after school so I do not think she did a lot of stuff with sport teams. I do know she was proud that in grade school, she was the catcher on a team that won city champs.

 

I think I am going to stop here and take up future memories from here. I hope you all like it. Living with Regina was never boring and never with out a lot of fun. She cared for people and loved her children and her grandchildren. I hope these memories will bring knowledge about  who she was to the grandchildren that she will never know.