Memories of Mom #2 & #3

It was not long after Gina was home that Mom realized, that the medication she was on, was just making her a zombie. She was on some really hard stuff to keep her from having seizures. We even had to make sure she did not cry too hard and the bed, crib, and the playpen had to have soft sides, so Gina would not fall and bump her head. We spoiled her and so did her siblings because we all knew we could not let her cry. When she was about six months old, Regina just took Gina off the medication. Mom just figured that Gina was not reaching levels of activity that she should be reaching. Now, she did not tell me or the doctors or anybody ordered this - she just felt it was the right thing to do.

 

Gina was part of a study that looked at her progress in the months after her sickness. They would study her and look at the way she played and interacted with the people and other children at the hospital. About 3 months after Reggie took her off the medication, you could see the great strides she was making and the hospital even commented on her ability to play and do things at her level and above.

One time she put a doll on a potty chair and waited then she lifted the doll up and patted the doll on the butt and put her down on the toy potty again. Mom did not feel this was so great but the doctor just went wild on how smart Gina was at the age of about 11 months. The only problem we know that was caused by the disease was a loss in hearing on very high notes, that and the fact, that she was and is a spoiled brat.

Do you guys remember the birthday party for Renee, where she almost died. Renee must have been four years old when she got a blue cookie monster birthday cake. Renee just loved the cookie monster but she just stuffed the cake in her mouth and pretended to be the cookie monster. She was so good at stuffing her mouth,  she could not breathe.

Now, just after having all these things happen to Gina, Renee takes her turn at scaring Mom. She passed out and blood came out of her ears and her nose. Mom gave her the Heimlich procedure and saved Renee from certain death. Mom was a real champion for you kids in many ways and she loved you so very much.

 

Memories of Mom #3

 

Today is the 24th of November 2005, and it is Thanksgiving Day. I did not really want to go out today for a couple of reasons. I knew if I was around a lot of good food, I would break my diet and eat like a horse. I also have been planning on doing a chapter in ‘Memories of MOM’. 

I have had a lot of roller coaster thoughts of mom the last few years. I really miss her a lot and I miss the great friendship we had together. I depended on her much more than I realized in the months and years after her passing. I took care of her so much the last year or so of her life but she gave me so much more in return.  

 

I became busy helping out Chris at school, as she wanted me to, but I also worked in other areas as well. I wanted to be busy so I would not be so lonely with her gone. I thought for a time that with time, I would find someone to share my life with but I do not think that this will ever happen. I live in the memory and fun we shared in life and nobody can come close to replacing your mom. I worried about this a lot but I came to peace with this decision and accept my life now. 

I felt for a long time that, to be at peace with my life, I had to move on and find another person to take her place. I know that men do this and men struggle to find happiness by replacing one person with another. Well, that is what I learned when I was in grief counseling. I am happy that I was able to experience the love of a great love and for that I am grateful.

 

We had our differences and problems that took time and understanding to overcome but the love that started the fire in our hearts was always there. Today, I was looking through mom’s notebook she kept at the hospital. She kept records of the different procedures and effects they caused. She took notes of the blood counts and other important changes and medications she was taking. She made notes to address problems with the insurance companies and the bills we faced and how we could deal with them. I never saw any thing that even remotely looked like she was giving up. She was always fighting and looking towards the future.

 

On August 15th, 2001, Mom wrote in her notes that a doctor told her it might take a year for her to feel like “quote unquote” a 52 year old woman. She went on to say that she will have to learn to live with the fatigue, weight gain, fibermialga but she would take the lumps and just move on.

On August the 22nd, she stated how she was working on her upper body strength. This thought was on her mind on this day and it was the only entry she made from the 15th to the 22nd. She spent the last week in I C U., fighting for her life and it was really a miracle she was still alive. She wrote that she was having pain and blood leakage still into her body cavity and how the tube hurt going into her chest. She also marks down her platelet count and how she wants to be cleaned up and a new bandage around the central line going into her body.

 

The real story is what, happened on the 15th of August. This was a day I left the hospital to spend a night home and catch up on mail, pay some bills and email mom’s friends about her condition. I received a call very late on the night of the 15th. A nurse told me that mom might not make it through the night. I took off to be at her side and prayed I would make it in time.

 

Mom’s lungs began to hemorrhage, so much that the blood in her body cavity caused her lungs and her heart to stop performing because they did not have the room to operate. The doctors rushed in and told her they needed to place a tube into her chest and suction out the blood around the outside of her lung and her heart. She could hardly breath and her voice was not much more then a whisper but she stopped them cold. She did not want them to put the tube in her chest until they all prayed with her. 

She reached out to a nurse near her and began to say the Our Father and all the doctors and nurses said the prayer together. When they finished saying the prayer, she was not even audible. The doctor told me later that she was only seconds away from death and she stopped us to say the prayer. He could not believe mom did this but he had to follow her wishes.

 

The doctor did not have time to apply pain medication and he simply shoved the sharp and hard tube into mom’s chest. The procedure worked and the blood started to be suctioned out. She was then transferred from this step up room to the I C U for the next week. A few days later, Mom told me the story about her making the doctors pray and she also told me something else that floored me. 

Mom said that when she held onto the hand of the nurse in the room that night, she saw the face of Jesus in the eyes of the nurse. Mom told me she immediately felt an overwhelming sense of peace, love and strength. I asked her to tell me the truth and she said that it was as real as the nose of the woman’s face. I told a lot of my friends and relatives this story right away but I was not sure how to share the story with the nurse or if I even wanted to. I thought the nurse might think I was some kind of nut.

It took a few days to secure the name of the nurse and get a chance to approach her with the story. When I started telling the nurse what mom saw, she had tears flow from her face. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me how thankful she was for meeting mom that night. I told her that no, my wife is thankful for you being there.

 It was at this time that she told me her story. She said she was working with a patient just a few beds down from where mom’s bed was, when she heard and saw all the commotion. She came into the area and asked if she could help. It was at this time that Mom looked up at her and reached out to hold her hand.

 

This nurse told me that she saw the face of Jesus in the eyes of mom! She too felt an overwhelming peace, love and strength come over her also. She had been dealing with an ex-husband that was just terrorizing her and her children. She had been praying for God’s help to overcome the problems she was having. She went on to say that everything changed when she saw the face of Jesus in mom’s eyes!

 

I know you kids heard this story before. It was the basis of the speech that I made at the Mass for Mom at St. Raphael’s the day we buried her. I never would have told that story and made the speech if Chris did not insist that I do so. 

I thought I would not be able to make the speech for Mom and I really did not do it with out help. The words I spoke that day came off my lips like butter on hot toast. The quotes and stories I used were the work of the Holy Sprit. I have never in my life made a speech like that and I do not think it will ever happen again.  

 

Mom wrote that, on the 25th of August, she was able to go outside for a while. She said the fresh air and just being outside was great. Mom was telling me at this time she felt the presence of somebody in the room with her. She felt it was Jesus but she did not see him. She said she felt a great presence with her at all times. 

My brother Mark told me that his daughter, Sarah, could see Angels around Mom, when she was in Mom’s room. Mom told me she was not ready to leave this world yet and did not want to make her final peace. She wanted to spend a lot of time together and enjoy the grandchildren.  

 

After all, she was going through her last written thoughts (were not of her self). She was so very special! The next day she was put on the machine she never got off of. There were times, when the medical-induced comma she was placed in, would let up enough that we got a chance to try and communicate with her. 

On morning of the 7th of August, she last communicated with her dad. He told her that Bottini’s never give up and she smiled. Mom passed away a few hours later and when the doctors and nurses came to tell us of her passing, they were all in tears. Mom was able to touch everyone she came across. She never met someone who walked away a stranger!