BITS AND PIECES

These stories are bits and pieces put together about family life at the Dean’s house.  My aunt Dorothy Dean and her brother, my uncle James told these to me, Steve Holdenried.

 

Peace

 

Ora Dean and his wife never raised their voice in anger toward each other. There was never any name-calling, swearing, finger pointing or blaming. Can this really be the truth? I mean come on - this cannot be really true, you think? (my Mom & her siblings) Leora, Lina, Dorothy, Donald and James have all stood by this way of life in their home. This may not be the norm; was it bad that emotions were held back? I mean everybody gets mad and lets off a little steam.  

 

I have close relatives, who have said this is just not healthy and it was very bad to be raised in this type of home life. I know of a psychiatrist who I spoke with, who said, “Not letting go of your emotions like this between a mate and his or her spouse would lead to suppressed anxieties”. I have thought about this off and on for years, and, knowing my grandma and my grandpa as much as I did, and really knowing what they stood for, proved to me that one’s love of God, love and respect for others governed their life. Yes, in today’s world, and in the past, this kind of marriage or relationship was not the normal type. This marriage was one of beauty, love, respect, and full of God’s love and His grace. My mother told me that she never heard her parents even one time yell at each other. I just wanted to touch on this aspect of their life together because that may be the most impressive of all their examples to follow.

 

 

HOBOS

 

The house on Taylor Ave. was only three houses and a street intersection away from the railroad tracks. During the depression, there was an event that happened quite often at this address. Many visitors dressed in old, rather large thread-bare suits would come up to the door and ask Mary Dean, my grandmother, if there was any work they could do, to earn a bit to eat. No, they were not asking for a hand out, they wanted work. Ora was sure to remind the kids and his neighbors that these men were not BUMS, they were HOBOS. These men went from city to city looking for work and using the rail cars as their means of travel. Now, although I had not heard much about this circumstance taking place at the Dean’s household, it did not really surprise me, but what Aunt Dorothy told me Ora and Mary did in addition to this really blew me away.  

 

Aunt Dorothy told me that it was not unusual to wake up early on a cold, or rainy night, and hear the sounds of men of all ages coughing, sneezing, whispering so very soft but trying to settle down to a good nights sleep. If she would get up early and go down the steps, she would wake up one of her other sisters because she did not want to walk through the front room with all the hobos sleeping there. It did not bother her that much, she just wanted company.

 

Most of the time, these men would all get up and get out of the door before the kids would wake up. Grandma would give them all a bit to eat, let them wash up and send them on their way. The night before Grandpa would bring them home, if he found them out in the bad weather. Grandpa, who worked the night shift for the Kirkwood police department, was there in the morning to wake them up and send them on their way.

 

It was well known at that time, that hobos marked a home, if it was a good place to get something to eat for doing a little chore, or, a place not to go where you would get in trouble. Most of the hobos did wear suits that were too big on them. The suit probably may have fit them when they started running the tracks, but without a lot to eat, they, almost all, lost a lot of weight. These men, who rode the trains, were usually former office workers or executives that lost their jobs during the depression, they were like Ora said, “NOT BUMS”.

 

“DO NOT FORGET TO ENTERTAIN STRANGERS, FOR BY SO DOING SOME PEOPLE HAVE ENTERTAINED ANGELS WITH

OUT KNOWING IT.” (Bible passage)

 

 

Stories passed down

 

When Dorothy would go to school or go into town and talk with her friends, she would sometimes find out about brave actions or problems that her dad faced in the town. Ora never wanted his children to worry about him so he did not talk about the danger, only the good things that would happen.The family would make Sunday, a family day, after Mass of course. In the summer, all the kids would walk with their dad to Fenton to swim in the Mermac River. This was the only day that grandpa had off and the only day grandma could get a rest.  

 

 

 

Ora Dean was known for his association with all people, black and white.  He was not always liked for the way he treated all races with the same respect. There were a few stories that Aunt Dorothy related to me about Ora’s respect for all people. Ora walked into the station one night and found that there were about five young black boys in jail for being out too late. Ora asked the dispatcher if the boys’ parents were called to inform them about their boys being locked up. When he was told that this was not done, he demanded that the boys be let out. When nothing was done, Ora just went back to the cells and took the keys. He walked over to the cells and opened them up. The whole time, a sergeant who was over Mr. Dean was telling Dean he could not do that and he would be in a lot of trouble. The sergeant was even madder when Ora drove the kids home. They, a few officers, did try to place an action on Ora, but the town council backed up his actions. My Aunt Dorothy told me that her father was reputed to be the Godfather of about four black children. He treated everyone with respect regardless of race or religion.

 

Hat Tipping

 

Uncle Jim told me a story in May of 2001, that I never had heard before. Herb Whitehouse, who was married to Betty Dean, one of Ora’s daughters, was taken back by the fact that most of the black men took their hat off when they saw him, Ora, coming down the street. Herb thought it was because he was wounded and received two purple hearts for his duty in WWII. Herb was confused because none of the white men in the town even knew that he was hurt twice in the war. Herb was taken down a notch when he found out that the black men in town did not know anything about his exploits in the service. It was only the black men’s respect for Ora Dean as their good neighbor that brought about the hat tipping.

 

 

High School

 

This is a story that Aunt Dorothy told me that she did not remember a whole lot about. She could only remember that grandpa did what he could do for his neighbors, black or white. The blacks in town went to a one-room schoolhouse.  If a black child wanted to go to high school, he or she would have to go into the city of St. Louis, Mo., or, at least another town. To do this, the city would have to agree to pay for the transportation (carfare on the street cars or busses) and this would have to be brought up at the city council. Grandpa was a spokesman for anybody who sought out his help in this manner. He would present the need and ask that the city pay for the cost of this action. I am sure that there must have been a law that the city had to follow to adhere to this practice.

 

 

A look Out Of The Window

 

Once, when James Dean was a small boy, about four years of age, he remembers an incident that took place just a few doors south of his home. The neighbor woman rushed out and picked up her son and Jim, then brought them both back in the house. Jim remembers looking out of the window and clearly saw his dad in his police uniform. This is the earliest recollection that Jim has of his father in a uniform. James saw his dad pull up in his black and white Ford police car and slowly get out. He also remembers Ora’s partner getting out of the car. Now, Ora was a good six foot two inches and his partner had a good four inches on grandpa. They both walked toward the two black men, who were up until a few moments before yelling and fighting each other. Ora had his hand out as he approached one of the men. The man had a gun and Jim can still see that gun as clear as if it were yesterday.

 

 

The man just put the gun in Ora’s hand and they, all four talked for a good while. When the talking was over they all shook hands and went back about their business.

 

Hand it Over

 

There was another incident that took place in town some years later. In this case, Jim said he had heard that two black men were yelling about the amount one of them was charged for service being done to his auto. The owner of the shop pulled out a gun. The customer went home and now, he showed up with a gun. Both black men were ready to have a shoot out, when along came the tall cop team. Again, James was told that his dad just put out his hand and both guns were in his possession. This time however, James was old enough to ask questions about the incidents. He asked his dad if he arrested the men for the fights and for carrying a gun. Ora said, “no, I could not do that in either case, because these men would really get into a lot of trouble.”  Ora went on to say that he knew both of these men and he knew it would never happen again because they promised him not to do this kind of a thing again. I really get the feeling that when you promised these two cops that you are going to be good from now on, you just did it. BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?  BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS. Ora Dean had the nickname for a while of The Peacemaker.

 

 

Free Movies

 

James Dean also recalls, that there was a robbery at the show in town one time, which was foiled by his dad. It seems that his Dad came home one night with a hole in his hat and in his coat, because of the shoot-out at the movie house. Ora had always said that he would never shoot his gun, unless he was shot at first. On this occasion, Ora shot past the robber first and when that did not work, he shot the man in the leg. James said, the Dean family could get into the movie house for free anytime.

 

 

Serious Fisherman

 

Grandpa, Uncle Don and my mom and dad, Ray and Leora, were coming back to Kirkwood from a day in St. Louis. During the ride back home, in which my dad was driving, everybody was just talking or listening to the radio. ‘WACK, WACK, DAMN THIS AND DAMN THAT AND WHAT THE HELL THIS AND WHAT THE HELL THAT’ is what my dad is supposed to have blurted out without any known reason. “Oh shit!” he yelled and, “well, there goes the damn weekend.” Grandpa and Don were really taken back by Ray’s outburst. Things got a lot quieter after the incident.

 

When the car pulled up in front of the house, Ora said to his daughter, “Leora, please come here I want to show you something”. With Ray staying in the car, Ora was worried of course about Ray’s outburst of anger. What even caught him off guard was the fact that his daughter did not even seem to notice what shocked him and his son Don.

 

Leora just laughed and smiled and said “didn’t you hear that weather report on the radio, dad?” It is going to rain all weekend, and Ray and his brothers will not be able to go fishing. They have been planning this for a few months.  “Dad”, she said, “Ray takes his fishing real serious”.